I HATE CANCER!

cancer seems to have taken over my life!  i HATE cancer!!!  and i tell my grandchildren to never use the word "hate"...it's an ugly word that shouldn't come out of pretty little faces...say "i don't like..." or "that's my least favorite..." but not "hate."  but there is no other way to cover cancer except HATE!

my daughter, kerri, the reason i started this blog is doing great!  she had her surgery...SUCCESS...she recovered,  her tumor was quite small, praise God, i spent a wonderful week with her afterwards being lazy girls!  she had 6 weeks of radiation & although she was tired, of course, she went to work everyday...she finished in july & is now on tamoxifan & having very few side effects which is amazing!  i'm very happy with her progress.

however, my niece, jennifer, has since been diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer, stage 4 & just finished 6 rounds of chemo...she's bald, she's tired, but her attitude is amazing!  next she will have to have a radical double mastectomy, then radiation, then some other type of chemo...this is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING IN MY FAMILY!  WHY WHY WHY WHY?  God & i talk all the time but He hasn't given me a reason, probably knowing i would just argue with Him if he did!  but i just do not understand this!

my sister-in-law, nancy, just finished round #5 of chemo for ovarian cancer, stage 3...she's had a most difficult time, multiple surgeries, a complete financial drain on her & fatigue & baldness...again WHY WHY WHY?

now, my dearest friend, debra, has been diagnosed with uterine cancer!!!  95% stage 1, but 5% stage 3 & a very aggressive cancer, so she is getting her port on thursday & will start chemo very soon...again WHY WHY WHY?

so, selfish me is having a very difficult time dealing with all of this...i don't guess it's selfish, i'm not worried about me, i'm worried about them..which then brings up the whole "faith" issue so where is mine???  God's wondering that too...i don't know why but i'm most concerned about debra...maybe because i'm used to the others, it's been awhile, hers is brand new scary, not months old scary...and being the cheerleader i am i have to cheer her up but i don't think she wants me to & that's all i know how to do except pray, which OF COURSE I'M DOING!

soooooooooo, my breast surgeon has decided it would be a good idea for me to have a double mstectomy because of all the breast cancer in my family...bring it on!  i would do it tomorrow, but NO i have to go to a gentic dr, then a plastic surgeon, then back to breast surgeon...i am not a good waiter!  if we're doing it, do it now!!!  they don't live in my world!

my breast friend, carol, has 2 new lumps, one benign & one a papilloma, which is benign but can be hiding cancer so she'll be having surgery again!!!!  THIS MUST STOP!!!!!!!!

72 Hours & counting

So, on Monday 4/23/12, Kerri has her surgery, a lumpectomy, and I will be there.